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Im whole
Im free
Im no longer bound

I
Am not used to this peace
That seeped into my heart when
I did what the Lover of my soul commanded
Me

I thought He meant I could do it
If I could manage
If I could stomach
If other persons thought I could or should do it

But the Lover of my soul, Jesus Christ, knew the reason He asked me to do this
I didn’t know
I negotiated and quarreled
Fought and overlooked it
But He was right, I had to do
IT.

Forgive? That’s for others not for me
I’m aiming to be forever cautious you see to the ones who hurt me…
But cautious meant I remembered their wrongs and I didn’t realize I was
conveniently…disobedient.

I didn’t know freedom would come because I thought I couldn’t set them free

I thought that I didnt have to make contact and jump in and take that leap

Faith without works is dead but my works were absent so my faith was…more like turning to dread.

I was asked over and over “do they owe you anything” over and over and over and
As soon as I could say no I needed to go no further than
Making contact and saying those dreaded words
In the probability of being rebuffed or accepted with open arms.

How sweet the taste of peace and joy: sweeter than the sweetest fruit

How precious the freedom that comes that Christ promised yet
You didn’t realize you were responsible for keeping it

How sweet the liberation to have more capacity to believe His words in daily encounters

How sweet it is…to be here.

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